Community Healing

We heal in relationship - to each other, to the land, to the cycles that hold us

Community Grief Ritual

November 8th | 10am - 5:30pm | Bodega, CA

“All War is unmetabolized Grief” -Martin Prechtel

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“Any time a feeling of loss arises, there is an energy that demands ritual in order to allow reconciliation and the return to peace. Grief must be approached as a release of tension created by separation and disconnection from something that we love.” -Malidoma Somé

The Grief Ritual Explained

We are living in a world of so much un-metabolized grief causing war, causing divide from ourselves, our communities and the path to co-liberation for all beings.
It is time for our grief to be metabolized to be a revolutionary tool of breathing healing into what we are fleeing from and come back to what we love. Grief is one of the biggest acts of love because its an honoring of what we hold most dear, what we miss and what we want to call into being again. We welcome this ritual to come together, heal and vision as a community, how to meet these times!
When we grieve deeply, we create a clearing, an allowance for us to hold what feels unbearable. To let our grief and emotions flow, so that something else can grow from the compost of intergenerational trauma that is not ours to hold alone, it's too much for just one nervous system. This kind of work must be done collectively and with ritual to properly transform it.
Sobonfu taught grief as a collective field that needs tending in any community. Grief accumulates and must be tended on a regular basis. Whales grieve, hummingbirds grieve, it is an innate ability to grieve. We all remember how to do this as a community, its in our bones and dna.
We are the seeds of generations of love and the wildest dreams of our ancestors. We call upon all their resilience, and our guides, the elementals, and earth spirits to let our grief flow and be an offering to feed what we love.
This one-day ritual event will be held on the coast near Bodega Bay, CA, at a sacred spot at the feet of our majestic Grandmother Ocean. The ritual will be held in the healing lineages taught to Coby and Madeleina by Sobonfu Somé, Malidoma Somé, and Martín Prechtel.
We are committed to offering a safe and open-hearted space for witnessing and letting the waves of grief express themselves as they need to, while tending to the collective community. This is a space that centers the experience and liberation of marginalized communities and those that are most deeply affected by the oppressive structures of racism, capitalism, imperialism, colonialism, the gender binary. We all need each other to do the collective work of metabolizing grief. This is a mixed identity and ancestral heritage space. If you are seeking a specific affinity space, BIPOC or Queer space we are happy to connect you to other circles.
We will mostly be expressing our grief somatically, letting the body lead us to what needs to move its way through so that we have a deeper ability to feel and to love. There will be many guided practices in the morning to help us approach our grief, We will be holding some embodied movement practices, song, writing and ancestral practices to loosen the grief in our systems.
After lunch we will move into the community grief ritual space for about three hours and close gently around 5:30pm.The grief ritual technology is a tremendous gift from the Dagara to meet the insanity of our world and it comes from long lineages of intact cultures and shrines that know how to work with intergenerational grief and trauma.
Empowerment Water Project-
https://support.thesonderproject.org/fundraiser/4625276
Grieving Resources and Ritual pre-requisites:Sobonfu on Grieving:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtUqMwRXvhY
Grief Ritual Lineage
https://m.soundcloud.com/siena-at-nw-grief-tending/dagara-grief-ritual-teaching-lineage-panel
Sobonfu on community: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R56s7KymWTk
Malidoma on prayer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHbmbTk9-lY
Martín Prechtel on Grief
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUwewfPPSbE&t=22s
From the book 'The Smell of Rain on Dust, Grief and Praise' by Martín Prechtel: (available on Audible, highly suggested)
We always offer back to the source of this ritual magic and the indigenous communities that have taught us these tremendous gifts with 15% of proceeds from our rituals going back into these communities. For the Dagara community, we recently were able to fund a third well for fresh water in the village. It was created with the support and direction of Dagara elders and in collaboration with the Sonder Project. Thank you to all of you that have supported! We are continuing to fundraise for two more wells in neighboring Dagara villages.
Link to the project here. https://support.thesonderproject.org/fundraiser/4625276
There are very few grief ritualists with a direct relationship and ongoing conversation with the Dagara people. A lot of ritual power and magic comes from being linked to these shrines and councils. It is a tremendous gift to heal our ancestral lines and our world with this ritual technology! Please also confirm in an email to communityritual@gmail.com that you have watched/listened to the video and youtube links below as a pre-requisite to attending this Grief Ritual. A one-day event, especially at the ocean where it can be difficult to hear, isn't adequate time to share the traditions and context of the lineage of this ritual. We care deeply about honoring our teachers and their ways. Sharing their voices with you is both an offering of resources and an essential pre-requisite for attendance.
We ask that you please share with us any ways that we can support you during the grief ritual and if you feel you’re navigating a large grief, what type of current support you have in place. Please kindly let us know if you believe yourself to be in a mental health crisis. Grief Rituals are tremendously healing, but are not a replacement for therapeutic treatment. We care deeply that this is an appropriate choice for all who attend.A confirmation and preparation email will be sent once payment and communication affirming the pre-requisite is received. Please register as soon as possible if you are planning to attend. Scholarships and reduced rates are available for BIPOC and other marginalized communities.
Affinity groups will be available if requested. Please contact us directly for inquiries at communityritual@gmail.com.15% of the proceeds will go to Dagara

Join the ritual

Regulating with the Collective

Some wounds can only be tended in community. Some wisdom only emerges when we gather. These offerings create containers for collective healing, ritual, and remembering - spaces where we can practice showing up authentically, witnessing each other's stories, and strengthening the webs of connection that nourish us all.

VIEW OFFERINGS

Offerings

Reclaiming the Sacred Masculine Through Grief Work
Ongoing monthly gatherings to break cycles of emotional isolation and create new models of masculine community
WHAT WE DO
Men have been taught that grief is weakness, that tears are shameful, that emotional expression is "bad for business." But unexpressed grief becomes violence, anger, and disconnection. This ongoing circle creates sacred space for men to reclaim their full emotional range and heal the wounds that patriarchy inflicts on all of us.
We gather monthly to explore grief in all its forms - personal losses, ancestral patterns, collective trauma, and the unnamed sorrows we carry in our bones. Through ritual, somatic practices, and witnessing each other's stories, we're reimagining what masculine community can look like when we stop performing strength and start embodying wholeness.
This Circle Is For You If:
- You're ready to feel your feelings without apology
- You want to break generational patterns of emotional numbness
- You're seeking authentic connection with other men
- You're tired of carrying grief alone
- You want to model emotional health for the young men in your life
- You're called to heal the intersection of masculinity and trauma
HOW WE GATHER
Monthly Evening Circles - Deep dive sessions combining education, somatic practices, and ritual container.
Each gathering weaves together grief work, ancestral healing, somatic awareness, and the creation of new masculine culture rooted in emotional intelligence and authentic connection.
Investment & Commitment
This work requires showing up consistently to build trust and create lasting change. We ask for a 6-month commitment to allow the container to deepen and the healing to integrate.
Monthly circles: $60-80 sliding scale
Ready to Join the Next Circle?
Get on the Waitlist | Book a Call
This work is held by Coby and rotating guest facilitators, all trained in grief work and masculine healing. Limited to 12 participants to maintain intimacy and safety.
Turning Loss Into Love Through Sacred Witnessing
Regular ceremonial gatherings to honor what we've lost and compost our grief into connection
WHAT WE DO
Grief was never meant to be carried alone behind closed doors. It's meant to be witnessed, ritualized, and transformed in community. When we gather to honor our losses together - whether recent deaths, ancestral wounds, or the collective griefs of our times - we create sacred space for healing that benefits not just ourselves, but our communities and the living world.
These ceremonies are held in the traditional lineages taught by Sobonfu Somé, Malidoma Somé, and Martín Prechtel. We create containers of trust and safety where personal and collective grief can be witnessed, validated, and composted into the fertile soil of deeper connection and liberation.
This Ritual Is For You If:
- You're carrying a loss that feels too big to hold alone
- You want to honor grief as sacred rather than pathology
- You're seeking community that can hold the depth of human sorrow
- You feel called to ancestral or collective healing work
- You want to learn traditional approaches to grief and ritual
- You're ready to transform pain into connection
NEXT GATHERING DATES
September 27th, 10-5:30pm
November 8th, 10-5:30pm
Rituals are held outdoors in Bodega, once you purchase your participation, the exact location is shared.
Stay tuned for upcoming courses.

These community offerings happen seasonally — be the first to know when new events are open and enlisting by joining the waitlist.

A man sitting cross-legged on a patterned mat outdoors, holding a wooden bowl, smiling, with a large tree trunk in the background and a jar of flowers nearby.

How I Hold This Work

I've spent over 25 years creating healing spaces for individuals and communities, drawn to this work through my own journey of transformation. As a certified Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), I've been blessed to study with the pioneers of this field—Peter Levine, Gabor Maté, and master teachers like Ariel Giarretto, Joshua Sylvae, and Efu Nyaki who opened my eyes to transgenerational trauma.

My spiritual path runs equally deep. Since 2009, I've studied at Bolad's Kitchen with Martin Prechtel, a Keres/Mayan spiritual leader who taught me about the sacred nature of grief and beauty. I've had the profound honor of learning from Malidoma Somé for 15 years and Sobonfu Somé for 12 years, elders from the Dagara tradition who welcomed me into their understanding of ritual and ancestral healing.

Keith and Shane Pease from Dakota Tipi tradition have been my teachers for 12 years as well. These relationships aren't casual—they've given me explicit permission to share certain practices, a responsibility I hold with deep reverence and continued reciprocity.

Having lived across multiple countries and speaking four languages, I bring both clinical training and authentic spiritual lineage to this work, always in service of the healing that wants to emerge.

BOOK A CALL

Old and deep holdings have found their way to the surface, been witnessed, held, shifted, and often released.

Somatic work with Coby has been incredibly effective, much more than the many years of talk therapy that I did prior to Coby. I feel more grounded, clear on my boundaries, and am more aware of what activates my parasympathetic nervous system more than at any other point in my 56 years. Coby has this way about him; gently and respectfully creating a space where my mind, heart, and body imperceptibly know it’s safe to be vulnerable.
— ANGELA C
I feel like I come back home to myself.

He has a way of reflecting my true self back to me so that I can find my own ground and remember my roots — my inherent connectedness to the greater web of life. He is able to hold all the details and sort through them in a way that sheds light on the heart of the matter while also illuminating a clear path forward, free of the clutter that my mind so often adds to things. I also feel like our work together is informed by Coby's deep connections to Ancestral and Natural worlds such that it becomes apparent each session that my healing is also the healing of my lineage which is amazing. I am so grateful for the opportunity to work with Coby and have him as an ally on my journey.
— EMILY K.
It has been one of the most significant years of my life.

The healing that I am undergoing is far beyond anything I have experienced in the past, and it has also greatly supported my spiritual practice. My depression has greatly lifted (which is more amazing than I can put into words), and my anxiety is starting to make some headway. Coby has a way of making me feel safe and allowing me to feel more deeply and to be open with what I am feeling. He is the most caring and open health care provider I have ever been to. My wife praises the day I found him.
— RICK B.
Coby is a delight.

Our sessions are founded on his unique ability to co-regulate. I find myself making huge, honest, and expansive shifts when we are together simply because he can hold our nervous systems in harmony. We talk a little, feel into the body a lot, and sync our systems with the birds, trees and other creatures near us. It has been healing to feel in my body that there is another way beyond the constant bracing, clenching and constriction. He has shown me on a visceral level new ways of being that feel liberating and easeful.
KATE E.